Fortunately one of my wonderful zen meditation friends calls me and we arrange to meet for a catch up as tennis had just canceled too, so I was free after the morning interviews. I take my less than jolly energy off to meet him and after explaining the before mentioned we experience the following 3 incidents occur directly in front of where I sat within 5 minutes.
1. A man is jogging apparel turns around and hurls the most amazing amount of abuse to this young chap and his ‘you could not look more innocent’ girlfriend who were walking their teeny weeny dog.
The language is of a most colourful nature and brought about as the jogger was incensed that they were taking up so much room on the sidewalk. Maybe he would prefer single file in Santa Monica on a sunny Saturday afternoon? There is only one thing to say to him, "treadmill."
I was sure punches were about to fly as the jogger ran over and pushed his face towards the now bewildered and enraged chap.
2. They were interrupted as another man walked out of the café on his phone and barges by. At the same time another gets out of a taxi, walks towards the curb looking down and picks up a soaking wet iPhone.
It is a glorious sunshine and possibly the only puddle in L.A. that day. As he picks it up the other man on the phone looks over and says "Found it!" as he takes the phone out of the stranger's hand. The stranger with exceptional observational powers for spotting iPhones in puddles between parked cars gives him advice that I have heard for the second time that day, which is to put in a bag of rice.
3. They depart only for my next visitor to be one of those chaps that you know are trouble. They are the ones that always find me. I inherited this lucky charm off my mother and remember as a child thinking "I hope I don’t attract them when I grow up, but I do."
I recall a story to my friend when I lived in Sydney and was crossing the road at Taylor Square on Oxford Street. One of those chaps was in front of me running up to women and children, kicking them. I knew naturally I was next in line, so took refuge in the fruit shop. I asked the assistant if it was ok if I stayed for 10 minutes. I guess fate is fate...after 10 minutes when I finally walked out, unpeeling my banana and taking a bite, I should not have been surprised. He was waiting for me by the cabbages.
I ran down the street and he ran after me kicking me whenever he got the chance. I ran across 4 lanes of busy traffic only to run into a man dressed as giant banana or condom (to this day I am still not sure). He was a jolly chap regardless and I made some comment only to be set upon by 2 very large "we hate men, yet we will dress like them" women. I have many female gay friends but have never got to grips with the very angry ones.
My crime was being a **** tease ?!? I had just ran through 4 lanes of traffic whilst been chased, kicked and ran into an oncoming banana condom all the while teasing the male population. Ladies please…
Anyhow, my new friend just stands in front of me and stares. I channel positive thoughts and then he is off on his unmerry way. We wait now for a bolt of lining.
I cycle home and get ready for the Russian party. A friend has organised it in wonderful house up off Coldwater canyon and much fun is had by all and yes, much vodka. It is getting late so we decide it is time to…yes, go to another party.
My designated driver (still on interview) checks 3 road signs, as do I, when we parked as know they have are tinkers out here for parking tickets. We are all good. Much fun and dancing continue with my driver now being tucked up in blankets to have some sleep until he is within the limit and fresh enough to drive again. I am not driving so I continue…
It is now getting early so we decide to head back and I wake up my long suffering driver. As we walk outside we can see all the street is cordoned off and signs everywhere that the triathlon is passing by. You know that moment…you do not even have to look…the car is towed.
Now at 2am there were no signs, the car was actually towed at 2:17am. Our taxi driver says he saw them putting the signs up at 4am. The tow office tells us that they towed 80 cars off Olympic that very morning. Mmmm…eau de dirty rat parfum…
The car pound is supposedly deep downtown. Only to get there, find out it is not, and have to be taken somewhere else. The credit card will not process to take payment so we end up taking 3 different taxis to get to the car pound. The fine is $50, the tow release is $259 and the taxis come to around $80.
I am set waiting, feeling rather the worse for wear in the car trying to work out the heating, but only manage to get cold air. I thought if I put on full blast it will get hotter quicker. To take my mind off me freezing my derriere, I put U2 on full volume and listened to Sunday bloody Sunday…it was indeed.
